Is it too late to talk about Halloween? No? Great, thanks.

I'm always looking for a good Halloween party. This year, unfamiliar surroundings and a busy schedule discouraged me from making any plans until the last minute. I rolled out of bed Saturday morning, called cousin Emily, and learned about a house party being thrown by a friend of a foaf in the city.

We ran to our nearest Halloween-store- that's-usually-empty-retail-space-for-rent (Monica says they're called Spirit) location and picked up whatever we could find. Oh, how I longed for Haloween Adventure, which is never sold out of anything.

Monica is an amazing makeup artist, specializing in the gruesome and slutty. She transformed me into this:

I saw Dawn (and Shaun) of the Dead recently before having this photo of me taken from the inside of my car.

...in no time at all.

I think my makeup was a little too good. People would shout at me from across the party, "hey, awesome costume!" But when they got a little closer and saw the disgusting details of my peeling, scaley flesh, they had nothing else to say. I think I really grossed people out. Monica, on the other hand, was typically popular all night and got lots of attention.

After having felt even more discouraged about Halloween than I up through Saturday, Monica swiftly sexed herself up with some bunny ears, bow tie, and a snow suit.

Get it? Snow Bunny.

She wasn't the only one at the party with a juxtaposition of unrelated things as a costume. This one guy showed up with dildos hanging around his neck by chains and a T-shirt that read Halliburton. Get it? Dick Cheney.